It Really Tied the Room Together

Many will agree that Calvin and Hobbes helped make America awesome, and that it was one of, if not the, best comic strip ever. It was funnier than any comic strips from any other country. Funnier than that Mohamed cartoon that upset so many hirsute gentlemen. It was awesome.

But, after the cartoonist for C&H decided to call it quits in December 1995, America, the Number One Country, lost a bit of it's luster.

For starters, a huge blizzard killed 100 people in America, January 1996. The problem was that kids had lost their inspiration. Since Calvin no longer showcased his enormous snowmen-armies, American children weren't aware of how to utilize the large snow cache; the frozen water built up to deadly levels. (It doesn't take a rocket surgeon to figure this out.)

Luckily, because America is so awesome, some crazier-than-a-shithouse-rat-but-just-might-be-smart-enough-to-pull-it-off Redneck graphic designer saw gold where others saw yellow. Yes, the Calvin-pissing-on-something sticker was created, and people were interested.

Finally, through illustration, those with no handle on metaphor could harness the power of Mark Twain's crass proclamation:

"There are particular things in life that I disdain enough to want to urinate upon."

The thing that makes America so awesome is that we can piss on whatever we want. In the windows of many an F-150, I've seen Calvin pissing on:

- Ford
- Chevy
- Dodge
- The Shroud of Turin
- Coke II
- Toothbrushes
- The flag of Honduras
- Differing opinions
- Cobra Command
- College
- Self-esteem

We will never run out of things to be drenched in Calvin's golden shower.

To continue America's reign as the Number One Country, comment on what you think Calvin should piss on.