Uh, Haw, Haw, Haw, Haaaw

Several decades ago, America's parent's were out of town, so America decided to throw a house party. It was going to be huge, and it was going to rock.

Every country who was any country was going to be there, and America had to make sure things went great. As the Number One Country, the night was only allowed to turn out awesome.

When it came time to choose the music, America wondered if it should get a DJ, or pay for a live band. Classiness has a price, so America chose the band.

Anyways, I'll get right to the point: ZZ Top is the band America chose.

You see, America always gets it right. How do I know? Because, ZZ Top is awesome in a million ways. Here are some:

- Two of them have beards.
- The third has a mustache, even though his actual last name is Beard.
- Their music makes you drive faster.
- Two or three of them always wear sunglasses.
- Their music sold pantyhose.
- One guy's name is Dusty.
- They're all about cars.
- They're all about ladies in bright colored clothing.
- They coined the term "HogZZilla" which is a mix of Hog (Harley-Davidson), ZZ Top, and Godzilla.

There's 32 other reasons why ZZ Top makes America so awesome, but that's all I'm going to list here.

Comment on what you think makes America the Number One Country.